Gruesome Accident Generator

↑ XKCD, on death stats.

This page will generate plausible accident stories with some nonsense thrown in, based on US Consumer Product Safety Commision statistics. The narrative fields have been mined from the US database and collected together, a Markov chain parody generator is then used to pull together a personal set of accidents just for you. If you would like to have a go yourself offline, try getting some data from the previous link and use the WordFrequency.jar tool below.

Current features include:

  1. Real world accident narratives from the last decade.
  2. Sensible personalisation of accidents.
  3. Markov chain based parody of original accidents to hopefully avoid any legality issues?
  4. Output ties in with the audiobook hack so that you can have a spoken accident report!

Enter some details for an accident:

All results will appear below this form on page refresh!!


The information provided on this and other pages by me, Matt Oates (, is under my own personal responsibility and not that of Aberystwyth University or the University of Bristol. Similarly, any opinions expressed are my own and are in no way to be taken as those of either institute.